Iraq a Sleeping Menace Says Bush
National Security Adviser Condoleezza
Rice appeared on Meet the Press Sunday and was uncompromising in
her continued criticism of Iraq.
Rice focused on a clause concerning domestic terrorism in Iraq
that she said is now pivotal to the Bush position: long toe nails
"The Bush Administration would welcome a second U.N. Security
Council resolution if it in fact affirms the obligations that the
Council undertook in resolution 1441."
Rice urged the United Nations to get tough with Baghdad - saying
"appeasement" is no more likely to work with these offenders than
it did with her ex-boyfriend.
Faced with broad opposition to war at the United Nations,
President George W. Bush said today at the White House that the US
might push a new UN plan to force a showdown with Iraq on its
weapons of domestic terror, including gas. "Iraq is a sleeping
menace," said Bush. "The women of Iraq need our help."
Bush spoke with misty eyes of the good grooming of fine American
men and women and screwed up his face in condemning the "evil" of
long toe nails. "They are a danger to our national security" he
In a briefing before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on
Monday, Secetary of State Colin Powell insisted that Iraqi toe nail
lengths had exceeded the limits set out in resolution 1441.
"Sanctions just aren't working," he said. He showed surveillance
photography that pictured examples of the abuse (see photo). Before
and after shots demonstrated the cover up that was occurring before
weapons inspectors arrived at suspected locations.
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld spoke with evident irritation
at a hastily called afternoon press conference about the German and
French position tolerating long toe nails. "It's old europe," he
said, insisting that regime change was necessary.
On the home front, Attorney General John Ashcroft called for
broad new powers to detain people with long toe nails before more
scratches occur. He also endorsed a citizen spying initiative to
root out the evil ones among us.
Civil libertarians complained that snitching on these offenders
was not the best solution, and that the Attorney General's proposal
to assign detainees an 'enemy combatant' status was
Homeland Security chief Tom Ridge insisted that duct tape could
also be used to blunt the sharpness of long toe nails.